The Hidden Treasure

Know Thyself

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Aug• 06•15

Contemplation #16

“When an inner situation is not made conscious it appears outside as fate.”
Carl Jung

Legend has it that the words “Know Thyself” were written on the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi by seven sages of ancient Greece. Both Plato and Socrates employed the maximum extensively in their writings and teachings. It is a saying familiar to us all. But what does it truly mean to “Know Thyself?”

To answer this question, it might be helpful to recognize that cognitive psychologists tell us that the conscious mind processes about 40 bits of information every second. That seems quite efficient until we compare it to the unconscious mind which processes over 20 million bits of information every second. Clearly, the conscious mind does not occupy the seat of power and authority in the functioning of the mind!

Carl Jung, the late great psychologist of the 20th century, was addressing the power of the unconscious when he declared that any inner situation, which is not made conscious, will appear outwardly as fate. This is another way of saying that any emotional issue which is avoided will grow stronger, and eventually manifest itself outwardly with a force that can no longer be denied.

To “Know Thyself” Is to engage in an honest evaluation of oneself on an ongoing basis. This includes listening to the critical feedback of others, without blame or defensiveness, judgment or denial. Another key to honest self evaluation involves learning to quiet the mind so that unconscious material is given an opportunity to surface for critical review. Many keep themselves in a constant state of activity throughout their day in order to escape the stress of dealing with issues they feel inadequate to address. Deep down they fear the thoughts and emotions which might surface if they slow down enough to allow the noise and turmoil of the outer world to subside.

Pascal, the famous 16th century mathematician and philosopher once wrote:

“All man’s misery derives from not being able to sit quietly in a room with himself.”

To know oneself is to take time for inner reflection. It is to fear nothing which one’s deep inner self might reveal. This is a frightening proposition if you are not firmly grounded in the belief that at your core is pure goodness. In The Course In Miracles, it is written:

“You are a work of God, and his work is wholly lovable and wholly loving.

This is how you must come to think of yourself in your heart, because this is what you are.”

Carl Jung also once wrote that “in each of us is another we do not know.” The journey through life must include a journey of self exploration if life is to be truly meaningful. The more we learn about ourselves, the more we grow. The more we grow, the more we discover the perfect love that is within us; the perfect peace Jesus called,”the kingdom of God within.” ( Luke 17:21)

To truly “Know Thyself” Involves a willingness to be quiet, settle down, and make time for self reflection. It’s all too easy to allow the busyness of life to distract us from what is truly meaningful, and what is truly meaningful for each of us is written in our hearts. When we take the time to listen to the deep silent voice within, what we discover is nothing short of miraculous. Once again, to quote Carl Jung:

“The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.”

I encourage you to find time to relax, settle down, and self reflect. The insights and wisdoms you discover within yourself can amaze and delight you. As we grow in our understanding of ourselves, we grow in our ability to manifest more fully the person we were created to be. Life is demanding and it’s easy to fill every minute of every day with some type of outward task or activity. I encourage you to make it a life discipline to fill some minutes every day with relaxation and inner self reflection. It may very well be the greatest gift you ever give yourself.

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The Greatest Obstacle To Personal Growth

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Jul• 02•15

Contemplation #15

Why do you look at the speck in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Matthew 7:3

Freud called it projection; the tendency to see in others what we cannot tolerate in ourselves. Through the unconscious practice of projection we see our flaws in the behaviors of others. Unfortunately, projection only strengthens the unhealthy patterns within us and over time our frustration and criticisms of others deepens and intensifies.

In A Course In Miracles, we are taught that “what you see in others you strengthen in yourself.” It is for this very reason Jesus challenged those who would listen to take their focus off their neighbor and put it on themselves. Through a willingness to attend to what it is about others that irritates us the most, and then question how we reflected that very pattern within ourselves, we remove our blinders and facilitate our own personal growth.

Carl Jung once wrote:

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead to a better understanding of ourselves.”

It is incredibly amusing to observe the degree of self-deception we are all capable of. Every day, without exception, you can log on to Facebook or any social media tool of our choosing and read the angry rants and ravings of “progressive minded” individuals who have lost all tolerance for the “bigotry” and “intolerance” of all the “narrow minded” who cannot see the world in the same way they do. If all the close minded out there were just intelligent enough to see the world as they do then we could all get along and put an end to all this interpersonal strife!

While amusing on the one hand, it’s incredibly unfortunate on the other. After all, it’s the failure to see our own faults and foibles that keep us stuck and derailed in our ability to grow personally, interpersonally, emotionally, culturally, and spiritually. Before positive change can occur, we have to recognize that change is necessary, and that is impossible as long as we are continually seeing in others those issues we need to address within ourselves.

One of the most powerful strategies we can employ for facilitating personal growth and positive change is to utilize projection to our benefit. We can make it a regular practice to examine what it is in others that trip our triggers, and then look inward to see what our reactions teach us about ourselves.

If we truly want to grow and evolve as healthy loving beings, we must be willing to allow the speck in our brother’s eye to be the lens through which we examine ourselves. We must be willing to focus our energies not on trying to change others, but on allowing others to show us what we need to change within ourselves. This is a proper and healthy use of projection.

With the awareness that the greatest insight into ourselves comes through those who frustrate us the most, we can gain a whole new perspective on the difficult people in our lives! Perhaps they are our greatest teachers. Perhaps they really are a blessing in disguise.

Now please understand I’m not saying this makes it any easier to deal with the difficult people in our lives. I’m just saying it’s worthy of contemplation!!

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When Life Is Unfair

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Jun• 19•15

Contemplation # 14

“He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?

Are not even the tax collectors doing that?”

(Matthew 5:45-46)

It appears to me that all too often we get caught up in attempts to promote our own personal agendas of “fairness” and “justice” and lose sight of the fact that these are attributes of the spiritual and not the physical realm. It is a self affirming choice, as well as the responsibility of every healthy, mature, and emotionally grounded individual to conduct themselves in ways that honor, respect, and value everyone; especially those with whom we find ourselves in conflict. Fairness and justice are hardly qualities which can be attained by attacking those who, in our way of thinking, are unfair or unjust.

The idea that we can, through our own wisdom, dispense justice, or create a world built on fairness, is naive at best and all too often incredibly destructive. The paradox is that the path into a world which is more tolerant, loving and kind comes only through acknowledging our ignorance and inability to create such a world on our own. It is only a power greater than ourselves which gives to us the ability to “love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us.” (Matthew 5:44)

In Matthew 7:2, Jesus encouraged those who would listen to remember that:

“For the same way that you judge others, you will be judged.”

These words remind us that when we hold on to grievances and seek to right wrongs by imposing our judgment of how things “should be” onto others, we do so at the cost of our own peace of mind. Likewise, the more we seek to heal the injustices of the world through the legal system or government legislation, the more we lose ourselves in the conflict: we increase our risk of becoming more embittered, disillusioned, and resentful. The more we decide,through our own human judgment, the way things “should be,” the more we imprison ourselves in bitterness and distress. In A Course In Miracles we are reminded that love holds no grievances. We cannot hold a grievance in our mind and know peace.

The reality of this world is that things are often unfair, and that unfairness impacts us all. At one time or another we are all discriminated against; we all experience social injustice. Some more than others this is true, but that’s just another example of the unfairness of it all. A kinder, gentler, more tolerant and loving world will grow not out of a focus on the righting of wrongs, but the exercise of tolerance and forgiveness. I don’t believe anyone could legitimately dispute the idea that the world would/could be instantly transformed for the better if we all simultaneously embrace the idea to treat others as we wish to be treated, while at the same time exercising a willingness to forgive all grievances.

While it may be naive and idealistic to believe that the entire world could embrace such concepts simultaneously, it is definitely good to know that we have the power to do so for ourselves. The willingness to exercise this strategy for oneself is not only possible, it comes with a guarantee; and in doing so, we create a healthier more peaceful world for ourselves and those we love.

We certainly need legal systems and government legislation; a society cannot function without them. But to believe that in them lies the power to create fairness and justice is an illusion. Genuine fairness and justice are attributes of the spiritual realm; to experience them requires awakening to a love far greater that we are capable of through our humanness alone. This is why Jesus encourages those willing to listen to embrace the idea that:

“You have heard it said ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for tooth.’

But I say to you, do not resist an evil person.

If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to them the other also.”

(Matthew 5:38)

These are difficult words to live by. Thankfully we do not have to rely on our strength alone!

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Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Apr• 02•15

Contemplation #13

“Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future.

Concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

The Buddha

Warning, thinking can be hazardous to your health!

Clinical studies over the last 40 years have demonstrated beyond any doubt that the vast majority of human suffering is not caused by external stress, but rather by the way we think about it and the meaning we give to it. Helping people develop skills in evaluating and changing what and how they think (cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT) has shown to be the most effective treatment for major depression, anxiety and stress related disorders. It has been shown to be more effective than medication therapies or any other type of therapy intervention. And the best thing about CBT? There are no negative side effects!

Clinical research over the last decade has also discovered the power of ancient mindfulness-based meditation practices for ameliorating virtually every kind of psychological suffering. Mindfulness-based stress reduction practices are based upon traditional Buddhist meditation strategies, which teach how to gently hold one’s awareness in the present moment, rather than allowing it to drift and fixate in the past or future. This is a powerful skill to develop given that clinical research has validated the observations of the ancient philosopher Lao Tzu who wrote several thousand years ago:

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past.

If you are anxious, you are living in the future.

If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

Of course, these wise words echo the message of Jesus to his disciples when he said to them:

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

(Matthew 6:34)

Living mindfully is about being gently aware of the present moment; holding each moment kindly in awareness without criticism or judgment. In doing so, the mind is released from regrets of the past or worries of the future. The mind is freed from judgment and grievances, creating a space for peace to surface and fill the moment -and expand naturally into the next.

Fortunately, cultivating mindfulness does not require huge time commitments as do many other forms of meditation. Being fully aware of the feeling of the gentle grip of your hands on the steering wheel during the morning commute, or the refreshing feel of the water on your body during the morning shower, can become mindful moments that relieve stress and elevate one’s peace of mind.

I routinely recommend and teach mindfulness-based stress reduction strategies to my clients. For those who are interested in learning more about mindfulness-based stress reduction, I recommend Dr. Siegal’s book entitled “The Mindfulness Solution”(2010). It’s a great book about an age old secret to relieving stress and cultivating inner peace.

“Mindfulness helps you go home to the present.

And every time you go there and recognize a condition of happiness that you have,

happiness comes.”

Thich Nhat Hahn

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Peace Comes To A Disciplined Mind

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Mar• 26•15

Contemplation #12

Jesus said,
“The kingdom of the father is like a certain man who wanted to kill a powerful man.
In his own house he drew his sword and struck it into the wall
in order to find out whether his hand could carry through.
Then he slew the powerful man.”
(Gospel of Thomas #98, The Parable of The Assassin)

If you are not aware of the Gospel of Thomas, here is an opportunity to explore a parable from this collection of traditional sayings of Jesus. You will find it as part of the Nag Hammadi Library, which is a collection of religious texts, as collected by Christians, believed to be buried around 400 C.E. and rediscovered in 1945 in the Naj’ Hammadi region of Upper Egypt. Many of the sayings found in the Gospel of Thomas have parallels to the Gospels of the New Testament, yet some, like the parable of “The Assassin,” are unique to the Gospel of Thomas.

At first glance it seems difficult to reconcile Jesus’ parable of “The Assassin,” with his teachings of love, compassion and forgiveness, as found in the Gospels of the New Testament. To make sense of the parable requires we first understand that Jesus is not addressing an interpersonal conflict, but rather an inner conflict of the self. The conflict is an inner battle against the physical and material desires of the ego mind, which robs us of our inner peace.

In this parable, the kingdom of the father is the perfect peace which can be found within each and every one of us; it is the kingdom of heaven within (Luke 17:21). The “powerful man” refers to our ego desires. Our eternal soul, or what is often referred to in psychology as the “Higher Self,” longs for reunion with God; our source of all life, love, peace, joy and contentment. Our human ego attempts to satisfy the soul’s eternal longing for God through material means, but one desire only leads to another. This results in a constant striving which only intensifies our insatiable desires and chronic dissatisfaction.

When we begin to awaken and realize that the love, peace, and joy we long for cannot be satisfied by physical or material means, we begin to look inward. However, before peace can be discovered within, the powerful urges and desires of the ego mind must be overcome (the powerful man must be slain). This was what Jesus meant when he said, “for whoever wants to save his life will lose it.” (Matthew 16:25)

In the parable of “The Assassin,” the sword symbolizes perfect love (Christ love) and the wall represents the insatiable desires of the ego mind. Jesus says, “he drew his sword (Christ love) and stuck it into the wall (into his ego desires) to see if he could carry through (was strong enough to resist temptation). When we are strong enough to surrender all physical desires, stress , worries, and grievances to the power of perfect love within, we are able to rise above them and slay all bad habits and set ourselves free.

One of the most efficient paths to awakening the power that is within us is the practice of daily silent meditation, the daily disciplining of the mind. Through meditation, we can dissolve worldly desires, calm the mind, and awaken the soul. In the Bhagavad-Gita it is written:

“Peaceful is he who sits quietly and dissolves all desires from within.”

To know inner peace does not require that we give up all the pleasures of the world, but it does require that we be mindfully in control of our desires. This requires a higher level of consciousness than can be found in the ego mind, which knows itself only through a relationship with the physical world. Daily meditation is a practice that frees the mind from its attachments to the physical world; awakening us to a Higher Self which is not controlled by the desires that dictate the physical realm.

Peace is an attribute that can only be found within oneself. To discover the peace within requires a daily discipline of silent meditative prayer. It is through silent meditation we learn to quiet the mind; we “slay ” the powerful urges of the ego mind and rediscover awareness of our Higher Self as spiritual beings.

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The True Measure of Success

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Mar• 19•15

Contemplation #11

“It is better to perform one’s own duties imperfectly than to master the duties of another.

By fulfilling the obligations he is born with, a person never comes to grief.”

The Bhagavad-Gita

Here in the U.S. we have an extremely bad habit of defining success by the amount of money, power, and status one has achieved. To survive as a culture will require growth beyond this limited, naïve, and quite ignorant state of consciousness. None of us, realistically, will see such a cultural transformation in our lifetime. We can, however, create such a transformation within ourselves, which is ultimately how cultures evolve and transform.

In the ancient teachings of the Gita, dating back over 5000 years, we are encouraged to recognize that genuine success is dependent not on what we have, or the status we’ve achieved, but rather in our ability to know ourselves and live out the “duties” we were divinely given to embrace and complete. This was the wisdom modeled by Jesus in the garden when he prayed saying, “Oh my father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.” (Matthew 26:42) He knew his eternal peace and security depended upon completing the “duties” he was divinely assigned.

Like Jesus, we are all assigned a divine task to complete in our lifetime. Discovering that task and completing it is the ultimate definition of “success.” The Buddha wrote,

“Your work is to discover your work, and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.”

So how does one discover their divine mission? How does one come to know what they are called to complete in this lifetime? The answer is clearly given to us in the fifth verse of the Tao:

“Man was made to sit quietly and find the truth within.”

It is in the silence of a quiet mind that one’s Dharma (truth) is revealed. You cannot figure it out using the rational mind; you must allow it to come into consciousness from the deepest center of your heart space. Through a daily discipline of quiet mind meditation, one’s life mission is revealed.

We are told that Jesus regularly withdrew into silent meditation so that he could clearly discern his divine Dharma. True success has nothing to do with wealth, status, or possessions. True success is the discovery and completion of one’s personal Dharma (divine mission):

“It is better to strive in one’s own Dharma than to succeed in the Dharma of another.

Nothing is ever lost in following one’s own Dharma.

But completion in another’s Dharma breeds fear and insecurity.”

The Bhagavad-Gita

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Perfectionism: Friend or Foe?

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Mar• 09•15

Contemplation #10

“No one should abandon duties because he sees defects in them.

Every activity, is surrounded by defects as a fire is surrounded by smoke.”

The Bhagavad-Gita

Over the years in my role as a clinical and performance psychologist, I have worked with literally thousands of individuals. In doing so, I have become quite familiar with mental and emotional patterns that promote or deteriorate one’s well-being, spiritual growth, and personal performance. I’m wondering if it will be of any surprise to learn that perfectionism is by far one of the most detrimental psychological patterns in which we can engage. There is, of course, a difference between striving for perfection with the conscious awareness that it cannot ever be truly obtained, and the need to experience perfection in order to feel satisfaction and self-worth. Psychologically, the term”perfectionist” applies to the latter.

Individuals who suffer from perfectionism have a compulsive need to experience perfection in whatever they do in order to feel self-worth and peace of mind. Obviously, because a state of perfection does not exist in the physical realm, they are constantly dissatisfied, frustrated, and struggle with esteem and self-worth. This is why perfectionism has been shown, through clinical research, to be a significant high risk factor in the development of eating and anxiety disorders, as well as substance abuse and major depression.

You can’t develop healthy self-esteem through perfectionism anymore than you can heal the pain of a struggling relationship by focusing on your partner’s shortcomings. Such patterns in focus only serve to amplify the problem; perfection erodes self-esteem and chronic criticism perpetuates relationship distress.

To develop a healthy self image, and maximize one’s performance potential, requires a paradoxical focus. You must set your sights high and strive for perfection, all the while knowing you’re going to fall short! It’s like the old saying, “shoot for the moon and when you miss you will land among the stars!” When Jesus said, ” Be ye therefore perfect, even as your father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48), he was reminding his disciples not to seek their perfection in the physical realm; perfection is a spiritual quest.

As long as we reside and work in the physical realm, we must never allow perfectionism, or the lack of it, to define our worth. Strive for it, yes, but as the Gita teaches us- don’t allow the lack of it to derail our efforts or detour our striving. We must leave the attainment of perfection in the spiritual realm where it belongs. In the physical world, to maximize our performance and peace of mind, we must entertain perfection as an ideal and not a reality; strive for it, but enjoy with satisfaction the imperfect results derived from efforts driven by love, compassion, and selfless intent.

Have a “perfect” day!

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Do As I Do, Not As I Say!

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Mar• 01•15

Contemplation #9

“There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’

‘I will not’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, Sir,’ but he did not go.

Which of the two did what his father wanted?”

(Matthew 21:28-31)

In the parable of the two sons, Jesus makes a simple, albeit, forceful statement of the power of actions over words. Jesus originally offered the parable as a means of stressing the fact that God’s kingdom of peace, joy, and eternal life is not found by “right words,” but rather by “right action.” It’s not important what we say we are willing to do, but rather what we actually do.

If the intentions of one’s heart match one’s words and they do what they say they will do; if they do not, then they will not. The most accurate way to evaluate someone’s true character is to watch what they do, and observe how often what they do mirrors what they say. This is because what we consistently do reflects the deepest values we hold in our heart. It is for this reason Jesus said,”Where your treasure is, there your heart is also.”

The truth we speak of here is the foundation not only of one’s character, but also of effective parenting. Clinical research has established beyond any doubt that young children learn far more by what parents do, than what they say. In fact, research in the field of clinical psychology supports Freud’s contention that the vast majority of adult character is shaped in the first seven years of life, and is done so primarily by what they observe. It’s no surprise, that the research also indicates that the most influential models in a child’s life are their parents, or significant caregivers. Parents teach their children, and mold their character, not by what they say, but by what they consistently do.

This is why effective parenting requires the ability to honestly evaluate oneself. To raise healthy children, we must be healthy ourselves, because what we consistently do is observed and internalized by our children. This is why a child’s self-esteem can be no stronger than that of their parents. Likewise the ability to love and forgive, as well as the attributes of patience, tolerance, and compassion are internalized, or falter in their development, depending upon what a child observes in their parents through the first decade of life.

Can character and loving attributes be developed later in life? The answer is , Yes! The ability to create positive change as adults is within all of us at any times. The question is never, “Can I change?”, but rather , “Am I ready to do whatever it takes to change?” However, the most influential period of development for children is the first decade. This means that as parents we must always remember The Golden Rule of Effective Parenting: children learn by what we do, not what we say.

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The Fear Fast Diet

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Feb• 26•15

Contemplation #8

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear.”
Buddha
*******

“Fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul…”
Matthew (10:8)

*******

God is not the author of fear. You are. When you are afraid be still and know that God is real.”
A Course In Miracles

*******

“Nothing wastes the body like worry, and one who trusts in God should be ashamed to worry about anything.”
Gandhi
*******
“Must I fear what others fear? Should I fear darkness when the light is shining everywhere?”
The Tao (verse 20)
*******
“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…”
Psalms 23
*******

Wise men and women, sages, prophets and saints throughout recorded history have addressed the need to break free from the mind’s instinctual attraction to fear. Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded by fear. 24/7 we receive news from around the globe on the latest catastrophes, diseases, sufferings, evil and death. The terrorist depends and preys upon the mind’s attraction to fear to weaken resolve and advance their distorted agendas of hate and prejudice, all in the name of God. We live in a fear addicted world.

Let us make no mistake: if we are not engaged in some form of daily practice designed to disengage and heal our mind from the fear that surrounds us in every moment, then our mind absorbs it and grows ever more addicted to it. Let us also remind ourselves that a mind bound by fear cannot know God, joy, peace, health, or happiness. Clinical research now clearly links chronic states of stress, depression, anxiety, worry, and anger to cardiovascular disease and numerous other physical maladies.

The stress created by a mind bound by worry and fear erodes our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. A mind addicted to fear knows no peace. To stay healthy mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, we need a good fear fast diet, and fortunately there are many good ones to choose from.

One of the simplest and most effective fear fast diets is a daily ingestion of gratitude. Making a daily practice to focus, with a genuine heartfelt reflection, on our daily blessings, is a healing remedy for the fear addicted mind. Keeping a gratitude journal, making a sincere resolve to carry an attitude of gratitude throughout the day, setting limits on exposure to news programming, and avoiding negative minded and fear addicted individuals, is a healthy fear fast diet. This fear fast diet can produce healing results in a surprisingly short amount of time. Just be sure to make this diet a part of your daily lifestyle or your mind will quickly re-addict.

We live in a fear addicted world. If we do not regularly fear fast, our mind will fall victim to fear and we will lose both our physical health and peace of mind. If you doubt this take a moment and step back, observe what is happening all around you and doubt no more. A daily dose of gratitude cleanses the mind, purifies the soul, and keeps our heart healthy and awake to love, compassion, and kindness.

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A Choice for Peace

Written By: Vic Rebman Ph.D - Feb• 20•15

 Contemplation #7

A wonderful affirmation on the power of perfect peace which lives within us

in every moment and in every breath we breath.

(from the Daily Word-a Unity Publication)

****************************************

Inner Peace

Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

Proverbs 3:17

My soul is centered in God. I am one with the peace of God. Today I cease to look for peace outside of me. What I am seeking already exists within me.

To still my mind, I close my eyes, breathe deeply, and feel any tension fade away. Slowly, I move into a peaceful space inside my heart. In this place, my soul is quiet and my mind is calm. I reconnect with the peace of God.

In the Silence, I meet with Spirit. I am enfolded in love and serenity. Calmness fills my entire body, and a divine Presence envelops my soul. My inner space is filled with Divine Love.

As I go about my day connected to the peace of God, I radiate confidence and poise. All is well in my world.

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